Condemned to be free

I continually find--as I have said many times before--that every element of this trip fits with the others like pieces of a puzzle whose image becomes slightly clearer with each new piece.  I am uncertain about what the finished puzzle will ultimately resemble, but I have a feeling that it will have something to do with some major life changes--as in new approaches to my perception of the world and of myself.  Everything, from the figure of the "flâneur" to Baudelaire's views of women to the goal of Impressionism, and now onto Sartre's assertions about man and destiny, becomes a sort of acceleration pushing me towards deeper self-discovery and analyzation.

Someone once told me that, above all, one must be honest with other people.  Honesty, indeed, means more than just the words you say--whether or not they are what you really mean (i.e. often times people know to read between the lines)--but rather what you DO.  Taking this notion further, Sartre argues that even inaction is action.  How many times is someone on the street asking for money met with indifference and lack of attention? That inaction is an act of ignoring the person.  I am not criticizing people for not giving to the homeless, because often times I do the same thing.  It is simply an example.  Or, how many times do individuals spend time with others that have affections for them, and aside from simply stating that the relationship is platonic, do nothing to distance themselves from the said person for the sake of the game that is the ambiguous nature of the relationship?  I am being vague.  While Sartre states that "L'enfer, c'est des autres" (Hell is others), he also states that (Tout est un act) (all is action) and man is only what he presents in action and that he is in control of his own destiny.  That is to say that man is condemned to be free--free to make his own choices, and at the end of the day, he can blame no one but himself for his own follies and/or failures.  

 

It is by this philosophy that I find myself affronted by reality.  All too often I have let fall by the wayside the reality of situations for the sake of enjoying the moment, the situation.  It is a sort of excuse, really, to say that all things done "in the moment" are acceptable to a certain degree because they were done in the pursuit of adventure or passion or excitement.  That is not to say that one should not live fully or should avoid spontaneity---absolutely not!  It is simply to say that if one knows the consequences of one's actions and knows the end result, and this end result is harm to another (be it a friend, suitor, or the environment--for the sake of argument), there is no excuse for one's actions.  There is no room for placing blame on anyone else.  Ultimately, by way of action or inaction, we must always fight to preserve the virtue of honesty in our interactions with the world.  If one lives honestly, there is little room for guilt and subsequently the anxiety, sadness, and loss that are often born from it.  In being honest with others, it is imperative to be honest with oneself--I do not know which is more difficult because one cannot exist without the other-- and without the constrictions previously listed, it is far more possible to live a fuller, happier, and likely, longer life.  

 

Personally, I look forward to the freedom of spirit and mind that will hopefully result from this newly recaptured approach to life.  I am already struggling with its difficulties and all that must be met and repaired in regards to previous actions (or inactions, as the case may be), but I feel burdens already being lifted at the simple thought of admitting to my faults and follies.   It is a liberation long overdue, and only after which I feel that I can finally live to feel for real and to enjoy spontaneity without worrying about how I will avoid its results after the fact.